Questions & Answers Consult the Q & A below for answers to some sticky wedding dilemmas. By Beth Rutledge Q. Our summertime reception for 250 will be held under a tent outdoors. The buffet will feature picnic-type foods like potato salad, little sandwiches, cheese and fruit. Do we need seating arrangements? A. First things first: seating arrangements have nothing to do with the food that's served at a reception. That said, you may be interested in knowing that, for a celebration as large as yours, seating arrangements will be helpful for the guests as well as for the couple being honored. People feel comfortable knowing a seat has been especially designated for them, and you and your sweetheart will have the benefit of knowing (generally) where everyone is when making your rounds. Plotting seating assignments is also a wonderful way to encourage mingling among guests. How else would your handsome cousin get to meet your fiance's shy, pretty stepsister? Q. My bridesmaids are having a shower for me. They don't know most of the women on my fiance's side of the family. Should I give my shower hosts a guest list, so as not to exclude my future in-laws? A. One would hope that your friends have the foresight to ask you if there are individuals you'd like to see at this party. But perhaps the bridesmaids are so caught up in the thrill of planning your shower that helping you ingratiate your future family has slipped their minds. Take matters into your own hands by mentioning to your mother that Luke's Aunt Coco would probably like to come to the bridal shower. And wouldn1t it be nice if her daughters were invited, too? Your mother can then telephone one of your shower hosts and say, "Crystal, you and Misty are doing a beautiful job arranging this shower, and I am so touched by your efforts. Is there anything I can do to help?" When your mother is assured that everything is well in hand, she can say that she has compiled a brief list of Luke's shower-worthy family members. Would Crystal or Misty like to take a peek, just to be sure Mom is in the loop and can make RSVP calls (should the need arise)? This subtle reminder should do the trick. Remember: on Young and Restless, getting what one wants in a roundabout manner is called manipulation. In wedding matters, it's called etiquette. For more on etiquette, see the current newsstand issue of Minnesota Bride.